Tf3

"Hi...this is my friend Bonita...she teaches yoga to children..." "...and I'd like you to meet Alexis, she was the cellist last night"...

"Mom...those people brought their own coffee table and have candles lit!"... was my daughter's first verbal observation to me at the TIME FOR 3 (Tf3) concert that I took her to tonight at Brook's Farm in Skaneateles, NY. I read about this group in the STARS section of the Sunday paper a couple of weeks ago and knew that I had to see them perform. They described themselves as garage band meets coffee house. Classically trained string musicians who all met at the Curtis Institute of Music in Philadelphia, they jam together, improvising on Beatles songs, Cohen, Imogen Heap as well as their own original scores.

I absolutely love it when an artist is able to take something that we have a certain stereotype image of, and completely turn it inside out. Tf3 delivered, that is for sure. They played these string instruments that we normally consider only worthy of classical music, with all the passion Jimmy Hendrix plays an electric guitar. They broke all the rules and seduced me with the bow as it vibrated across their strings. I was mesmerized as their instruments became extensions of their invividual personalities and communicated with each other without words.

First of all, being at a concert in Skaneateles is nothing like being at the Hannibal Field Days. Not to put people in a different class or category at all...but you could not be at this concert without noticing that the mix of people are just a little unfamiliar. From the food they brought to picnic on to the behavior of their children. Definitely a culture shock.

On our way in, a very nice volunteer asked Jillian if this was her first time to Skaneateles Music Fest. She said yes, and he invited us to place our blanket up front by the stairs where he and his family had saved some spots for young kids. How nice!

We arrived with 45 minutes to pass until the concert. We spent that time just absorbing the conversation and the people around us. One lady to my left was alone and on her cell phone, telling someone that NO, she was FINE and that she really NEEDED to be alone at this tonight. She had a bottle of wine with her and I just felt that there was much going on in her life. I felt a silent connection with her. In no time at all we were chatting and exchanging websites and ideas. She was the YOGA teacher for CHILDREN I had overheard being introduced earlier. She invited me to some 2 day yoga fest in September, telling me that it would change me, heal my soul, and vibrate my inner self for at least 6 weeks. She was on fire telling me about this, as I handed her my Moleskine notebook for her to pencil in the information.

The trio itself was secondary to everything that I felt a part of this evening. While they were everything that I thought they would be and more, it was the connection that I felt to these other people gathered to appreciate the music that I most related to. Also, a special bond that I felt being there with my daughter. Laughing over getting lost and her navigating us into the place, parking the car and lugging our picnic in. As we laid on our blanket together under the stars, my nose snuggled in her hair, tears streamed down my face as Tf3 played Hide and Seek. I had an emotional moment just then and felt change in the air. I felt that I am not the one in control right now...and there can be no more hiding. I have been found. Tf3.

The Tasting Room of Life

Is it a bad thing when your 9 year old knows where to look on the shelf for the wine that you like but they never seem to have in stock? "Look, Mom, it is supposed to be RIGHT HERE!" What does that say about my parenting? Or what does that say about my daughter?

Actually, it probably says that she is a sucker for art on wine bottles just like her mother. I am a big fan of ROARING RED by Chateau LaFayette Reneau and have no doubt that the lion's deep green eyes didn't have something to do with it. A lion in a tuxedo will sell me every time. While not a big fan of their Northern White or the Emperor's Blush, I could be lured in by the fuzzy polar bear with warm pink cheeks or the happy little penguin tipping his glass. So I never say never when it comes to wine with good art on the label. Wineries like Bully Hill understand this and have been pulling people like me in as long as they have been making wine.

But does this just go for wine? Of course not. Packaging is the first thing we see when we go to make a purchase and it is that one chance to win us over with the first impression. After that, it will take something like someone telling us this is a fantastic product to look past the lack of effort on the outside to trust what is inside.

As often is the case, art imitates life. We go about judging people by the way they present themselves. Once in a while the package is not a fair representation of what is on the inside. We can be disappointed or pleasantly surprised. But we need to take a chance and investigate beyond the label. We need just a little taste to see if we were right. Then maybe a second taste in a different atmosphere or paired with different food. Sometimes it takes a few tries to truly decide if it makes the wine list of life or if we move on to look at other labels. If all else fails, you can walk to the other side of the store and just go for the hard liquor. After a few shots you won't ever remember that it came in a bottle!

What's a Little Whine Between Friends?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I am coming up on that point of the summer, where I slow down long enough to realize that it's coming to an end, and I have done nothing. Sure I've been busy. Busy transporting kids here and there. Busy running to doctor, dentist and orthodontist appointments. Busy cleaning up after children. Busy fixing food for everyone. Busy keeping my mind off of the fact that I have not had any vacation. But I am trying not to go there this year. I have made a serious effort to schedule dates with friends on the calendar just as I would those doctor visits.

But even so, no matter how hard I work towards not hitting rock bottom, it is just that, work. While I have been told before that my problem is having too much time to think, I don't think that is a bad thing. No one can ever accuse me of not being in touch with my feelings, or being in denial of reality. And if I am not thinking about my feelings then I am writing about my feelings. And if I am not writing about my feelings, then I am thinking about writing about my feelings.

One of the things I am most grateful for are the people who put up with my constant ramble about life. How I view it, drawing analogies to things, analyzing the past and speculating on the future. Of course this is best received after a relaxing lunch date while hanging out in the pool on an 80 degree day with a couple of bottles of wine and a bag of lime Tostitos. After some time, it is amazing how philosophical these talks can become and how much fun you can have floating your wine glass in the pool. At that point, all that ramble becomes just a little whine between friends!

Kenney Rogers' 3 Simple Steps to Happiness

Friday, July 23, 2010

I learned the key to a happiness by catching Kenny Rogers on Oprah several years ago. He's had a pretty good life and said that there are three simple things you need to be happy. You need someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to. Easy enough to remember, I have held onto that advice and reference it often.

Whenever I am feeling down, I ask myself which of those three things are out of balance in my life. I can always narrow it down to one of them and try to make adjustments. I most often struggle with the imbalance over the summer when I am very busy for everyone else and my needs are not being met.

As a teacher I have number two covered from September to June. Always something to DO. Get up, get everyone moving and out the door and spend the day sharing my love of art with young people. Being that I like what I am doing, that is an extra bonus that Kenny never even mentioned. Another perk of teaching is the built in something to look forward to. As soon as school starts in the fall, you are looking forward to the first long weekend, then the first holiday, then the possibility of a snow day and so on. It is one continuous looking forward. While the summer seems like a no brainer, simply looking forward to not having to go to work, you really need to be proactive with filling that void with other things.

In the past I have tried to keep the calendar as free as possible, and just take the summer day by day. I learned several years ago that having nothing to look forward to is a surefire way to depression and boredom for all. I then began scheduling activities to get my children out of the house. I begin working on my Summer Sanity Plan in March and reserve them each places in as many camps as they will agree to and I can afford. But again, by mid August there seems to be some unhappiness on my part. It usually catches me of guard. While I am busier than ever running my kids all over, I have nothing fun in my life to look forward to.

This year I decided that I needed to have as many things for myself to look forward to as my children do. I have stopped feeling guilty and have made a regular standing Wednesday night date with a friend just to have something to look forward to each week. I try to plan ahead and make dates to do other things and put them on the calendar. A movie night with a group of moms and our daughters, a pedicure with my sister in law, shopping after a dr. appointment. Just something in writing to be able to look forward to.

This is something that I have tried to teach my children as well. If they have something to look forward to it can make all the difference in their moods. Sometimes something as simple as a new outfit will be enough to get my daughter out of bed on a Thursday morning. Just today, a breakfast sandwich got my son out of bed two hours earlier than usual. Ever wonder why you can't get your kids out of bed on a school morning but they are up and bouncing on a Saturday or on a day that school has been canceled due to a snowstorm? Hmmm....something to think about.

Sometimes the something to look forward to also encompasses loving people and doing things so it kind of is like killing 3 birds with one stone. So if it were me writing Kenny's three steps I may think about rearranging the order. Because if I have nothing to look forward to, I am not in the mood to show anyone any love...and I certainly want to DO nothing because I am simply NOT HAPPY!

Good Night Moon

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Like my friend, John Mayer, I try to recognize the moment, before the moment is gone. I have always been aware of the final time something is about to happen. I try to hold onto and memorize it, so I can recall every vivid detail when I revisit the past. Sometimes we know when the sand is running out of the hour glass, but often we aren't aware until it has passed. We then look back on it and wish we could remember it better. The further back in our memory, the more faded it becomes.

Last month, I closed the door to my Art Emporium. I knew this would be the last time and spent an extra minute or two, door knob in hand, looking into the room with the happiest of memories as I closed it for the very last time. I knew the day was coming and I had time to prepare and let go.

But what about when we don't have that time to prepare? What about when a change happens quietly and we never recognize the moment as being the final time? I used to wonder, when my children were little, when would be the final time that I would read Good Night Moon to them? They loved it and we read it frequently, searching for the mouse on each page with my nose buried in their freshly shampooed hair. I would take in the smell, their warmth, and wonder," Could tonight be it? Could tonight be the last time we read this story together?" Maybe then a week would pass and we would read it again, or even a month. But it always seemed to resurface every once in a while.

The thought would come and go and eventually the baby books were moved out of their rooms to make room for John Deer tractors and American Girl dolls. The thought about Good Night Moon then turned into wondering when the last time would be that my son would make tractor noises and plow fields in our living room. Now I watch my daughter and her friends with their dolls and wonder when the last time will be that they play with them. Will I know? Or will it simply, smoothly, seamlessly flow into the next thing that they move onto?

These things tend to overlap ever so subtly that we may not be able to reach back and remember the very last time. For that I am grateful. There are times to say good bye and come to terms with the last dance and there are times to hold onto it as a beautiful part of our past that really never leaves our heart. ~Susan

Do we really stand alone?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I think it is so important to be able to stop and look at where you've been. Whether it is looking back at last night, last week or last year, all of those moments in time hold a key to where we stand at this moment.

Sometimes we wonder how quickly something can change, but if we look back, there are usually signs along the way, that maybe we overlooked. Things don't usually happen as fast as we think. We are just slow to notice the small changes leading up to the big wave that knocks us off our feet.

I try so hard to let my emotions be my guide. To go with my instinct. I am usually never disappointed. Disappointment only happens when we look back at what we didn't do when we felt deep down that it was right all along.

What are our emotions anyway? Are they just that little voice inside? And if so, who is that? Such mystery surrounding our alter ego, that sixth sense. I believe that once we are on the other side of this world, this loud, busy, stressful, confusing, painfully happy place, it will all be so simple. Right now we are so lost inside the static that we can't see how simple it all is. Someone can though. Someone is trying to lead us. Maybe not always to the right choice, but the choice that makes sense several more chapters into our life. It isn't for us to look to the past and wish we could change a choice made, but to accept it today and trust that it will make sense at some point down the road. ~Susan

Laws of Illusion

Sunday, July 18, 2010

One of the things that I love about the moon, is that it isn't always as it appears. She has many faces and shows only part of herself at any given time. While her phases are predictable, she is able to hold onto some spontaneity by appearing at any time of the day or night, or not at all. She can come and go as she pleases, depending on the weather or her mood if you will. She can eclipse the sun and she sparks the creativity of hundreds of songwriters, artists and writers.

Sometimes I feel like the moon controls my moods along with the ocean tides. I can be happy and high one week, confident and mouthy the next. The third week is my most trying, as I warn everyone ahead of time that I am emotional, irrational and at my lowest. Its effects are so lasting that I don't even have words to describe the fourth week other than recovery from the third.

As a woman I can relate to the moon and the fact that the only thing that stays the same about her is change. I have been listening to Sarah McLachlan's new CD this past month, Laws of Illusion, her first since 2003. For Sarah herself, this period was a time of profound change and renewed discovery. “I think when you go into a dark place for a while and you come out of it, the lightness you feel is…euphoric.”

This reminds me that nothing in life is as it appears. We may think that we have things all figured out only to learn that we were wrong. Life is ever changing and always gets the last laugh. The laws of illusion are actually there to guide us if we are open to change and trusting in a world beyond the one we know. For it is that world after all, that guides the universe and the souls who call it home. One illusion after another, day after day, page after page.