Friday, July 23, 2010I learned the key to a happiness by catching Kenny Rogers on Oprah several years ago. He's had a pretty good life and said that there are three simple things you need to be happy. You need someone to love, something to do and something to look forward to. Easy enough to remember, I have held onto that advice and reference it often.
Whenever I am feeling down, I ask myself which of those three things are out of balance in my life. I can always narrow it down to one of them and try to make adjustments. I most often struggle with the imbalance over the summer when I am very busy for everyone else and my needs are not being met.
As a teacher I have number two covered from September to June. Always something to DO. Get up, get everyone moving and out the door and spend the day sharing my love of art with young people. Being that I like what I am doing, that is an extra bonus that Kenny never even mentioned. Another perk of teaching is the built in something to look forward to. As soon as school starts in the fall, you are looking forward to the first long weekend, then the first holiday, then the possibility of a snow day and so on. It is one continuous looking forward. While the summer seems like a no brainer, simply looking forward to not having to go to work, you really need to be proactive with filling that void with other things.
In the past I have tried to keep the calendar as free as possible, and just take the summer day by day. I learned several years ago that having nothing to look forward to is a surefire way to depression and boredom for all. I then began scheduling activities to get my children out of the house. I begin working on my Summer Sanity Plan in March and reserve them each places in as many camps as they will agree to and I can afford. But again, by mid August there seems to be some unhappiness on my part. It usually catches me of guard. While I am busier than ever running my kids all over, I have nothing fun in my life to look forward to.
This year I decided that I needed to have as many things for myself to look forward to as my children do. I have stopped feeling guilty and have made a regular standing Wednesday night date with a friend just to have something to look forward to each week. I try to plan ahead and make dates to do other things and put them on the calendar. A movie night with a group of moms and our daughters, a pedicure with my sister in law, shopping after a dr. appointment. Just something in writing to be able to look forward to.
This is something that I have tried to teach my children as well. If they have something to look forward to it can make all the difference in their moods. Sometimes something as simple as a new outfit will be enough to get my daughter out of bed on a Thursday morning. Just today, a breakfast sandwich got my son out of bed two hours earlier than usual. Ever wonder why you can't get your kids out of bed on a school morning but they are up and bouncing on a Saturday or on a day that school has been canceled due to a snowstorm? Hmmm....something to think about.
Sometimes the something to look forward to also encompasses loving people and doing things so it kind of is like killing 3 birds with one stone. So if it were me writing Kenny's three steps I may think about rearranging the order. Because if I have nothing to look forward to, I am not in the mood to show anyone any love...and I certainly want to DO nothing because I am simply NOT HAPPY!
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